What if Sex Had Never Been Considered Evil?
How differently would our sexual experiences have been?
My connection with Tom was just so beautiful. He had a very kind heart and was so careful in our lovemaking. As I gazed up at him while he was deep inside of me, the most wonderful hum and buzzing flowed around us. It was like the air was alive and our bodies were vibrating together in the most glorious bubble of joy. As the pleasure flowed through my body, I realized that these were the moments where you fell in love with someone - the connection was just so strong and so pure.
As I looked into his eyes, I saw an element of concern. He was fighting with something inside and then a real sadness came over him.
“What is it?”, I asked gently.
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I… I… How…”
I pulled him in close and whispered, “What is it?”
He pulled away a little bit and looked directly into my eyes.
“How can THIS be considered evil? This is the most beautiful and loving experience I’ve ever had. Why was I taught that this was wrong?”
He gently pulled out and we lay facing each other. He had been raised in a strict Christian home and community. For fifty years, he had believed what he had been taught: Sex was a sin. Sex was the original sin. Sexual desire was the root of all of our problems. To desire sex meant that there was something wrong with you - that you were broken in some way. Wanting sex outside of marriage made you weak and dirty, and even sexual desires and lust within a marriage was questionable and ideally unnecessary.
His marriage had fallen apart over this. His deep faith in the people who had brought him up and his desire to be a “good Christian man” had caused his marriage to be relatively sexless, causing great distance and sadness between he and his now ex-wife.
As he lay beside me, I could see him sorting through the thousands of sermons, bible-studies, revivalist preachers, and conversations around the dinner table growing up. Sex was always of the devil. It would only lead you astray.
He began to unwind memories from his marriage. What if he hadn’t believed them and just enjoyed making love with his beautiful wife? Hundreds of scenarios started rewriting and playing out in his mind.
We lay there for a long time in silence before he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “Why would they lie to us about this? Lovemaking is so beautiful. It’s so full of pleasure. I feel closer to you than anyone in my whole life. Why were we taught that this was inherently wrong?”
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Tantra, Erotica & Ancient Sexuality to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.