He licked my nipples a little more while rocking his hips — teasing that he was going to go deeper. This rocking was doing something to what had been holding me. It was jostling around the pieces… I started to shake my head because I didn’t want to feel what was coming up. I didn’t want to think about it. Not now… not ever.
I was sitting meditating in my little room. I didn’t know what was bothering me so much. But there was just a sense of gloom all around me and I just couldn’t shake it. So, I chose to just sit still and breathe and see what came up.
Luckily it was Jake who came…
He knocked lightly on the door and opened it a crack… “You ok?”
“Kind of. Just feeling really down.”
“Can I help?”
“Okay.”
Jake was the most gentle, beautiful lover… and he knew me inside and out. I’m sure he could feel my sad mood all the way downstairs.
As I continued to sit with my eyes closed cross-legged on the floor, he crouched down in front of me and gently kissed my lips. My head tilted back and a little tear fell down my cheek. Wherever my heart was, he was going to take me there and I was willing to be taken.
He gently took my face in his hands and gazed lovingly into my eyes. Gently pushing my long brown curls from my face, he let his hand gently flow down my neck causing all the hair on my back to rise. He continued to kiss me, opening my mouth a little more with each kiss, allowing my head to fall back while I breathed him into me. I could almost taste his passion, his desire to be inside of me, his desire to help whatever was going on inside of me.
He slowly unbuttoned my blouse and let it fall off my shoulders letting my breasts feel a little breeze from the room. Just the simple coolness on my nipples caused my yoni to start to pulse. She knew what was coming. My mind may have been somewhere else. But she was already ready.
He let his fingers casually brush against my nipples, teasing me as he guided my body backward onto the floor. As my back settled down, he knelt on either side of my thighs and let his body suspend just above me while he brought his lips to my left nipple. His tongue played around and around its tip while his other hand caressed my right. Omg, he was sending waves of chills through my whole body, my yoni getting wetter and wetter by the moment.
Then, he released his focus on my breasts to remove my pants. In this tiny reprieve, I began to feel the sadness again that I had begun with. But it wasn’t as strong now. His gentleness and pleasure was confusing the sadness — like I was being untethered from something holding me.
As his hands effortlessly slid my pants off, he allowed his hands to slide slowly up between my legs to my very wet pussy. He let a finger slide just along the opening covered in wetness. He looked at me with the biggest smile.
Part of me was so happy to see that smile — a smile that knew how much I desired him. A smile that was genuinely happy that I must be breaking out of the sadness he found me in and that he was able to help.
But there was another part of me that was also angry. He was going to snap me out of this. I was angry, upset. This was real. How dare he distract me this way.
He saw my confusion and reached his face down and just started to kiss my belly. His curly hair flowed all over my breasts as his tongue played with my navel. Then, he slowly made his way down to my pussy — just gently licking and playing, letting me feel his warm breath surround my pussy mixing with my wetness — driving me completely crazy.
Then, he stood up and gently undressed himself. It was interesting to just watch him disrobe. His eyes never left mine. There was a sense that he was unveiling something that was going to take us the rest of the way. There was something in me that knew that whatever was going on inside of me was going to be released… I had to decide if that was truly what I wanted.
As his pants dropped to the floor, I could see he was perfectly erect. It was like the healing tool had been released… all for me.
Still holding my gaze, he knelt down again, this time gently spreading my legs apart. He reached down to suckle each of my breasts, caressing the other at all times. He then brought his eyes to mine again silently asking me if I was ready.
Yes.
With his hand, he reached down and placed the head of his vajra at the opening of my yoni. He played in the wetness until the first inch of his shaft was completely juicy and soaked. He then just placed the head inside and turned his attention back to me.
Omg… the feeling of him inside of me was already sending waves of pleasure up my spine. The fact that he was just holding at the opening this way, made me feel so completely loved, every part of me just opened more and more to him.
He licked my nipples a little more while rocking his hips — teasing that he was going to go deeper. This rocking was doing something to what had been holding me. It was jostling around the pieces… I started to shake my head because I didn’t want to feel what was coming up. I didn’t want to think about it. Not now… not ever.
As he saw me turning my head, he knew I was fighting inside. So, he went a little deeper. No… I don’t want to think about this… No, I don’t want to admit it…
A little deeper.
Crap! Fuck! Something crazy was rising inside of me… I just didn’t want to go there… but he knew that I totally did.
Bam! He went all the way in. His entire being was now deep inside of me. He kept his hips pressed against mine as he rocked my hips, the head of his shaft so deep within me. My heart was pounding… I was trying to hold on… and then he started licking my nipples again and that was it!
I totally snapped. I started crying and swearing and saying how angry I was. He continued rocking our hips together and took each of my hands in his and held them beside my head on the bed.
“I know baby. Let it all out”.
I cried and I yelled and let whatever was inside me out. My inner frustration was mixing with the pleasure that was amplifying each other. The more my body wanted to climax with him, the more I could feel every truth inside of me that I hadn’t wanted to look at.
His hands on my hands and his vajra deep in my yoni made this solid triangle that somehow kept me safe. Within that, I was safe to writhe, scream, cry and feel incredible pleasure all at the same time.
Every so often, I would start to withdraw a little into something that had come up and he would hold my hands a little stronger, look into my eyes, and say, “I’m not going anywhere. You may as well bring it all out… Let’s see how deep we can go.”
At this, I gazed into his eyes and something broke inside of me… the last vestige of sadness and anger. I smiled and could feel every inch of him inside of me. My body relaxed and true happiness began flowing through me. Oh, I wanted him even deeper inside of me.
And so, I opened even wider. He released my hands and placed his arms under my back. He continued to rock my hips while my back arched and flowed with his movement.
There was no sense of each other’s bodies. We were one unit flying somewhere through space. We groaned and moved together until he shifted his body just the tiniest bit which sent me right off the planet. Inside, it was like a bright light shone everywhere. I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing. He too had stopped breathing while we floated in this pure ecstasy together.
We held onto each other here until the energy subsided and my body released and he collapsed on top of me. We lay motionless and silent while we enjoyed the wonderful afterglow of what had happened.
Eventually, he gently pulled out and grabbed a blanket that was on the floor beside us. He turned my body with my back towards him and curled around me as the warmest “big spoon” he could be. Pulling the blanket over us, we rested there for the longest time.
I may not have wanted to go into those dark places… but lovemaking brought me there… and truthfully, I’m not sure there is a more pleasurable way to release, heal, and find my way to the other side.
© Katrina Bos 2021
The ultimate fantasy - to be so connected to another soul that they can intuit exactly what you need in the moment, before you even know it yourself. 💕🙏🏻💕
Wonderful and intense description of human love as it should be, thanks for sharing, happy to see more 🙏🏻